Transcript
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Welcome to Something More with Chris Boyd.
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Chris Boyd is a certified financial planner, practitioner,
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and senior vice president and financial advisor at
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Wealth Enhancement Group, one of the nation's largest
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registered investment advisors.
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We call it Something More because we'd like
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to talk not only about those important dollar
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and cents issues, but also the quality of
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life issues that make the money matters matter.
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Here he is, your fulfillment facilitator, your partner
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in prosperity, advising clients on Cape Cod and
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across the country.
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Here's your host, Jay Christopher Boyd.
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Welcome everybody.
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This is Something More with Chris Boyd.
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I'm Chris Boyd here with Jeff Perry.
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We are the AMR team at Wealth Enhancement
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Group and glad to have you joining us.
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We've got a good topic today.
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A little surprising to me, Jeff, that we're
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talking about family planning.
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I know.
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Well, it's important.
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It's important to plan for your family.
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But I don't think this is what people
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are thinking.
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When I think of that, I think in
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terms of something like birth control or something.
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That's not what we're talking about.
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Oh, it's been in the news quite a
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bit.
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The recent campaigns and the social issues that
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are out there, people see family planning and
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think, what are they going to talk about?
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What side are they on?
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We're talking about financial planning for your family,
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estate planning, all the kind of planning that
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goes into thinking about maybe intergenerational wealth and
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the related issues.
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Is that what I'm talking about?
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Okay.
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We can talk about that.
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That's fine.
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All right.
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I think we're both probably past that.
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We have families.
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We love our families.
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I'm worried about these issues.
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No, not so much.
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It's interesting.
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This topic's been on our radar for a
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while.
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Lisa and I, we just did some amendments
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to our estate plan.
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I thought about this issue.
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You're getting older.
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You start to think more about your estate
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plan, which is part of it, and your
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financial plan, which we've always kind of thought
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about.
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But you think about it as you get
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older, like when I pass and my executor
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or trustee, how is all this going to
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happen?
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I guess the general prudent advice out there,
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and we can dig into the details, is
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you should tell your family about what your
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finances are generally and the outline of your
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estate plan.
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We'll dig into this.
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Yeah, let's talk about that.
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Do you agree with that generally?
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I think generally it is a good practice.
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I understand there are instances where families have
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different concerns about family members' ability to handle
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money and whether they really want them to.
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Well, I think sometimes one of the challenges,
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Jeff, is if someone, maybe a degree of
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wealth.
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I've talked with business owners who would be
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like, I'm not going to give it all
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to the kids.
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I don't want them to know they are
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getting that much.
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Kind of take away their motivation.
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I don't want them to, yeah, exactly.
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I don't want them to stall out and
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think, I don't have to worry about it.
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I'll ride the wave until...
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That kind of notion, right?
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Sometimes I think that's part of why people
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are closer to the vest.
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Other times it may be that they feel
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like, oh, I wish there was more and
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I'm a little bit conscious of my wealth
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isn't as much as I'd like it to
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be, that kind of thing.
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They feel like, that was not that much
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to talk about anyway.
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I think these are sometimes inhibitors, right?
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But big picture, I think it is a
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good practice to talk about, what are you
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planning?
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In that case where someone has substantial money,
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that business owner, in the case I was
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scenario, I was imagining, recalling.
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Well, it's still good to be clear what
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your expectations are because what if they're thinking
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they're coming into big money and they're not?
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You know, better for them to know that
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you've got your plan, whatever it is.
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I think sometimes too, in the case of
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like that, where there's philanthropy involved, that's a
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value expression as well.
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I think that's something you want to engage
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your family in and talk about the notion
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that as part of our value system, we
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believe in helping our community and here's how
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we're going to do it or whatever it
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might be, right?
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To whom much is given, much is expected,
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that kind of notion.
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But that can be, when we talk about
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legacy, Jeff, we often think about it and
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talk about it in terms of financial terms,
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what we're, how we're leaving wealth to one
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or another, you know, individual.
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When legacy can be other things too, it's
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values, it's stories, it's other things.
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So off track a little bit, but I
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think talking about these issues is important because
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it can help families to have a greater
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awareness of what's intended.
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And sometimes it can also be part of
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that process of clearly delineating value systems and
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things like that.
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When it comes to talking about what's intended,
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I think that's really important to have some
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clarity of here's what we have in mind
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for our plan.
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Like let's talk about the state plan for
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a minute.
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You know, sometimes families, and I think we've
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talked about this on the show before, sometimes
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families just pick the oldest.
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Oh, they're going to be the one to
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settle my affairs.
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It's not always the right person, but sometimes
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that's, and if that's what you're doing and
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why, and there's somebody else who's involved in
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your day-to-day and they're living right
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nearby, well, I think it's important to talk
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to them about it and say, well, Johnny's
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the oldest or whatever.
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It's almost like a pick that will not
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create strife because it's the expected pick, right?
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Maybe so.
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It may not be the best choice and
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it might be worth talking about why that
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would or wouldn't be, but I think it
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also could help to alleviate tensions if parents
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elaborate on what they had in mind and
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why.
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A lot of times what happens when a
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passing of a parent is old tensions bubble
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up within the family.
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Absolutely.
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And mom always did, dad always did, this
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kind of thing.
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You always were the whatever, right?
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And by having some of these conversations with
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the family, you can elaborate on your thinking
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and have it as an opportunity not to
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convey any kind of confusion around, hey, but
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I still love each of you, that kind
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of thing.
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But let's talk about roles and who should
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do what kind of consideration.
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Yep.
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So, this is really individual.
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We're talking about families generically.
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Sometimes it's one child, sometimes it's 10 children,
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sometimes it's businesses involved.
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And so, let's just start with the conversation
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about a simple plan where it's a married
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couple.
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They have means, so they have assets and
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they own a house and they have investments
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and IRAs, but there's nothing odd.
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I think we'll get into some of the
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oddities in a few minutes.
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Yeah, that's a good point.
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Yeah.
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But there's no unique circumstances.
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It's a standard two kids.
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Yeah, let's keep it simple.
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Yep.
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And so, they're creating, they have their financial
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plan and they have their estate plan.
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We'll start with the estate plan.
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And they're picking one to be the executor
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of their will or trustee of their successor
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trustee.
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And they're picking a healthcare proxy and power
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of attorney.
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So, they have these three kind of decisions
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to make.
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So, some of those are financial and some
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are healthcare.
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That's correct.
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So, the first one they're picking is the
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executor or personal representative or trustee who's going
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to handle the distribution of their assets when
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they both pass.
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Right.
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So, that might be thought of like who's
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good at accounting, who's good at finances.
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Details.
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Maybe who's got some experience with handling money.
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You might think along those lines.
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Do you agree?
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I definitely agree.
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And sometimes they default to the older.
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And sometimes I've seen, including very recently, which
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has not turned out very well for this
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particular sibling mix, where both were named.
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Oh, yeah.
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That's tough.
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That's right.
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So, co-executives or co-trustees.
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And depending on the language of, let's call
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it a trust or a will, but depending
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on the language of the document, it's likely
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that they both have to agree.
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And so, I think that's the worst idea
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of anything we're going to talk about.
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I agree with you.
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As much as I get to thinking is
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that, oh, that'll be more collaborative.
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They'll both have the chance to agree on
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things.
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They can work together.
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Behind that kind of mindset.
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It's not heavy handed, but it does raise
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the potential, a greater potential for a contest
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of wills.
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No pun intended.
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But with the notion that people might butt
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heads a little bit of, no, it should
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be this and no, it should be that.
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Okay.
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So, pick one, generally.
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Pick one or go outside to a non
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-child.
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You don't want it to be a family
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tension issue.
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Maybe a professional lawyer or whoever might be
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could be a good choice in this case.
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So, you talked about it in terms of
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passing one's death, right?
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But the trust or the power of attorney
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plays that role while you're alive.
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If you become incapacitated.
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Incapacitated kind of situation.
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And that could be relevant as well.
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Who's going to pay my bills?
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Who's going to be keeping everything, the ship
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running, so to speak.
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And this brings into the notion of not
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only the financial acumen, but also proximity.
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Who's going to be tuned in to my
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issues locally, maybe.
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Could also be relevant.
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Yep.
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Absolutely.
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It is relevant.
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00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:57,340
And it's usually the same person, I think,
278
00:11:57,440 --> 00:11:59,640
who is the executive person or representative and
279
00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:00,400
power of attorney.
280
00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:02,540
We're not talking about the healthcare proxy.
281
00:12:03,380 --> 00:12:05,800
But I think there's usually, if you have
282
00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:08,180
in our simple scenario, if you have two
283
00:12:08,180 --> 00:12:10,820
siblings, usually one of them is more organized.
284
00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:12,380
One of them is better with money.
285
00:12:12,780 --> 00:12:14,740
One of them is closer.
286
00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:16,420
Hopefully all those things are the same.
287
00:12:16,420 --> 00:12:16,720
Yeah.
288
00:12:16,780 --> 00:12:18,340
They may not all be the same, right?
289
00:12:18,340 --> 00:12:18,820
That's right.
290
00:12:19,660 --> 00:12:21,080
So it's important.
291
00:12:21,580 --> 00:12:23,740
And it's really important to...
292
00:12:23,740 --> 00:12:26,160
This seems obvious, but I'm sure you've come
293
00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:27,280
across it before.
294
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:30,540
We're talking about communicating with your family is
295
00:12:30,540 --> 00:12:33,820
after you and your spouse decide who these
296
00:12:33,820 --> 00:12:36,620
people should be, is you should talk to
297
00:12:36,620 --> 00:12:37,280
that person.
298
00:12:37,460 --> 00:12:38,900
You should give them a copy of the
299
00:12:38,900 --> 00:12:39,300
documents.
300
00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:40,940
You should explain, you should say...
301
00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:44,160
What's expected of them and are they willing
302
00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:45,060
to do that?
303
00:12:45,060 --> 00:12:45,460
Right.
304
00:12:45,980 --> 00:12:50,680
And so I'll just share something personal, which
305
00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:51,520
is in line with this.
306
00:12:51,740 --> 00:12:53,140
We just amended some documents.
307
00:12:53,580 --> 00:12:57,880
We changed a successor trustee on our trust.
308
00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:03,660
And so giving this new successor trustee copies
309
00:13:03,660 --> 00:13:06,760
of the documents, explaining what our intent is
310
00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:09,540
in certain areas that they're not ambiguous, but
311
00:13:09,540 --> 00:13:13,700
just adding some color, some detail and giving
312
00:13:13,700 --> 00:13:18,240
the successor trustee your name, for example, and
313
00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:21,280
the name of an attorney that they should
314
00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:22,220
go to for guidance.
315
00:13:22,380 --> 00:13:24,180
The name of all the beneficiaries is in
316
00:13:24,180 --> 00:13:26,560
the trust, but how about contact information of
317
00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:27,140
the beneficiaries?
318
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:30,620
That's not typically in the documents.
319
00:13:31,100 --> 00:13:34,460
It may say Johnny Jones of Boston, Massachusetts,
320
00:13:34,780 --> 00:13:36,820
but do you have a phone number and
321
00:13:36,820 --> 00:13:38,320
an email for him or her?
322
00:13:39,140 --> 00:13:43,860
And so reviewing from 10,000 feet, not
323
00:13:43,860 --> 00:13:46,260
every particular line, but reviewing your wishes and
324
00:13:46,260 --> 00:13:48,520
why you're doing things and what your intent
325
00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:51,620
is with your person that's going to carry
326
00:13:51,620 --> 00:13:54,740
out your wishes, either when you're incapacitated or
327
00:13:54,740 --> 00:13:57,220
you passed, I think is super important.
328
00:13:58,600 --> 00:13:59,840
I think that's a good point.
329
00:14:01,020 --> 00:14:03,880
So you lay it out in front of
330
00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:04,220
them.
331
00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:08,980
Along those lines, do you want to transition
332
00:14:08,980 --> 00:14:10,960
to the healthcare considerations?
333
00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:13,800
I mean, I think that's just as important
334
00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:15,440
for some of that conversation.
335
00:14:16,820 --> 00:14:18,480
We talked a little bit about this not
336
00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:20,700
long ago when talking about a television show
337
00:14:20,700 --> 00:14:21,600
that we were watching.
338
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:22,820
The Pit.
339
00:14:23,740 --> 00:14:24,180
Yeah.
340
00:14:24,260 --> 00:14:25,580
Did you end up watching any of that?
341
00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:28,520
We are current because the only release on
342
00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:28,820
a week.
343
00:14:28,940 --> 00:14:29,700
It's a good show.
344
00:14:29,940 --> 00:14:32,780
And in episodes two and three, it carried
345
00:14:32,780 --> 00:14:35,700
over maybe even to four, just for the
346
00:14:35,700 --> 00:14:38,560
listeners who weren't tuned into that podcast.
347
00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:46,200
There is a person that has an older
348
00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:49,680
man and I guess he's a parent, right?
349
00:14:50,100 --> 00:14:50,280
Yeah.
350
00:14:50,620 --> 00:14:53,120
And near death.
351
00:14:53,420 --> 00:14:55,840
Two siblings, a male and a female.
352
00:14:56,900 --> 00:14:59,860
The female is more assertive, we'll say.
353
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:03,860
And they don't agree on the end of
354
00:15:03,860 --> 00:15:05,360
life and how it should happen.
355
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:08,800
And this whole two persons versus one.
356
00:15:09,020 --> 00:15:09,380
Right.
357
00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:10,540
There's another example of that.
358
00:15:10,820 --> 00:15:14,180
The healthcare proxy, I think it creates the
359
00:15:14,180 --> 00:15:15,560
potential for problems.
360
00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:17,880
We won't go into the particulars of that
361
00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:21,920
show again, but the concept of a healthcare
362
00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:24,280
proxy is who's going to make decisions for
363
00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:26,200
me if I'm not able to.
364
00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:26,740
Right.
365
00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:32,600
And some jurisdictions prefer an agent to the
366
00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:33,360
healthcare proxy.
367
00:15:34,140 --> 00:15:37,300
Other jurisdictions prefer written directives.
368
00:15:37,620 --> 00:15:43,100
But both are that notion of what's intended.
369
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:46,140
What do I want to see happen?
370
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,900
And different people have different perspectives on this.
371
00:15:50,140 --> 00:15:52,400
Sometimes it's like, pull out all the stops,
372
00:15:52,540 --> 00:15:52,740
man.
373
00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:55,800
As my friend said, when you're dead, you're
374
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:56,120
dead.
375
00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:58,700
Got to give them a chance, right?
376
00:15:58,920 --> 00:15:59,200
Yeah.
377
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:00,460
So that's one.
378
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:02,940
And then the other is, well, if I'm
379
00:16:02,940 --> 00:16:04,880
at a certain age, maybe I think I've
380
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:05,540
had a good life.
381
00:16:05,620 --> 00:16:07,600
I don't necessarily want to be on machines
382
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,880
and prolonged indefinitely.
383
00:16:10,780 --> 00:16:15,740
And maybe if there's certain cognitive decline, you
384
00:16:15,740 --> 00:16:19,300
might not want to be having life extended
385
00:16:19,300 --> 00:16:24,780
just indefinitely, you know, that kind of thing.
386
00:16:25,180 --> 00:16:28,040
And so there may be some thoughts around
387
00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:32,120
what do I want, that, and will someone
388
00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:33,740
adhere to your wishes?
389
00:16:34,060 --> 00:16:42,100
Will they know what you want and follow
390
00:16:42,100 --> 00:16:44,480
those wishes, which was a part of that
391
00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:44,920
episode.
392
00:16:45,300 --> 00:16:45,580
Right.
393
00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:48,260
And so, you know, just going off the
394
00:16:48,260 --> 00:16:50,780
episode, but this is real life type of
395
00:16:50,780 --> 00:16:51,140
stuff.
396
00:16:51,500 --> 00:16:53,740
If you put in your healthcare proxy, your
397
00:16:53,740 --> 00:16:56,400
wishes, and, you know, say you don't want
398
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:59,580
extraordinary means used, you know, you don't want
399
00:16:59,580 --> 00:17:01,460
to pull out all the stops, so to
400
00:17:01,460 --> 00:17:04,900
speak, which is one of the choices that
401
00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:06,220
people use commonly.
402
00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:10,859
I think it's a lot more powerful that
403
00:17:10,859 --> 00:17:13,839
if you have that discussion following, you know,
404
00:17:13,859 --> 00:17:17,359
you've made this document, you've gone through that
405
00:17:17,359 --> 00:17:19,660
whole process and you give a copy to
406
00:17:19,660 --> 00:17:22,400
your healthcare proxy, hopefully it's one person and
407
00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:22,859
not two.
408
00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:26,859
An alternate is fine in case person number
409
00:17:26,859 --> 00:17:27,920
one's not available.
410
00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:28,660
Right.
411
00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:31,800
But, and you actually have the conversation with
412
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,900
them that I prepared this document.
413
00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:34,960
This is my wishes.
414
00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:37,680
I think that goes, it just magnifies the
415
00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:40,880
document because without it, you know, in healthcare
416
00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:43,520
proxy has this document and they're reading it,
417
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:46,500
but in there in this emotional moment and
418
00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:49,380
they're not really fully prepared to just, you
419
00:17:49,380 --> 00:17:52,160
know, be the judge, if you will, and
420
00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:53,700
just go by the letter of the four
421
00:17:53,700 --> 00:17:55,640
corners of the document, they have so many
422
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:57,880
other emotions and wondering if you really meant
423
00:17:57,880 --> 00:17:59,280
that, did you understand it?
424
00:17:59,500 --> 00:18:01,940
But if you had told this person, this
425
00:18:01,940 --> 00:18:03,820
is my situation, this is my health, this
426
00:18:03,820 --> 00:18:04,640
is my decision.
427
00:18:05,340 --> 00:18:06,560
I want you to honor it.
428
00:18:07,140 --> 00:18:08,720
I think it would just be so much
429
00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:11,280
more powerful to the healthcare proxy and so
430
00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:15,540
much more, I don't know how to say
431
00:18:15,540 --> 00:18:18,100
it, but it's a more of a gift
432
00:18:18,100 --> 00:18:20,440
to the healthcare proxy that you've had that
433
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:22,840
conversation and you're relieving some of that burden
434
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,380
from having to make that decision.
435
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:25,500
Yeah.
436
00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:26,460
Yeah.
437
00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:29,320
You can see how this could lead to
438
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:30,740
family tensions, can't you?
439
00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:36,260
How some of these challenging decisions and, you
440
00:18:36,260 --> 00:18:40,800
know, trying to fulfill someone's wishes could be
441
00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:42,440
challenging, you know?
442
00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:49,720
So this goes back to, you know, what
443
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:53,340
we started with, the conversations about this, the
444
00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:55,080
planning that goes into this.
445
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:59,940
And, you know, as you were describing that
446
00:18:59,940 --> 00:19:03,020
and saying, it's important to talk to the
447
00:19:03,020 --> 00:19:05,440
person who's going to take on that role.
448
00:19:06,290 --> 00:19:09,220
But let's say in that imaginary family of
449
00:19:09,220 --> 00:19:17,920
four, mom, dad, son, daughter, it's actually important
450
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:22,160
for mom and or dad to talk to
451
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:24,180
not only the person who's going to be
452
00:19:24,180 --> 00:19:27,660
making the decisions, but also the person who's
453
00:19:27,660 --> 00:19:31,260
not so that they also know those intentions
454
00:19:31,260 --> 00:19:35,920
because they might be more inclined to be
455
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:39,140
accommodating to them if they understand what's desired.
456
00:19:39,420 --> 00:19:41,340
That's a great point.
457
00:19:41,820 --> 00:19:45,960
And, you know, ideally that conversation happens with
458
00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:48,120
all four of those people in the room
459
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:49,140
at the same time, right?
460
00:19:49,180 --> 00:19:51,840
So there's no like, well, I don't know
461
00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:53,640
what you really said to the other sibling.
462
00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:53,880
Yeah.
463
00:19:53,940 --> 00:19:56,120
You might've pressured, you know, no sense of
464
00:19:56,120 --> 00:19:58,140
like, oh, you were pressuring them or something
465
00:19:58,140 --> 00:19:58,680
like that.
466
00:19:58,860 --> 00:19:58,960
Right.
467
00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:03,180
I'm in favor of all these family communications.
468
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:05,500
I think they're important.
469
00:20:05,780 --> 00:20:07,920
I think it gets, I think we're talking
470
00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:09,440
about the easy stuff so far.
471
00:20:09,940 --> 00:20:12,280
It's not easy, but the easier stuff.
472
00:20:14,260 --> 00:20:16,220
I guess, how far do you go though?
473
00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:17,880
I mean, that's where we get into the,
474
00:20:18,980 --> 00:20:21,940
you know, and the real special circumstances.
475
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:24,140
So say you have, just keep with our
476
00:20:24,140 --> 00:20:26,680
example, let's say during the life of this
477
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:31,700
family, the son in this case had some
478
00:20:31,700 --> 00:20:33,000
struggles along the way.
479
00:20:33,260 --> 00:20:35,240
So mom and dad helped him out.
480
00:20:35,780 --> 00:20:37,360
You know, maybe he was unemployed for a
481
00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:39,080
while, maybe he got a divorce and there
482
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:42,300
were times when he needed some extra funds
483
00:20:42,300 --> 00:20:44,740
and, you know, whether or not the sister
484
00:20:44,740 --> 00:20:46,520
knows this happened, right?
485
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:47,240
Right.
486
00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:47,680
Yeah.
487
00:20:47,820 --> 00:20:51,500
How, how do you handle that in a
488
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,480
way that's fair?
489
00:20:55,780 --> 00:20:58,040
Equal is not always fair or fair.
490
00:20:58,100 --> 00:21:00,860
We, we, we often like make reference to
491
00:21:00,860 --> 00:21:01,200
that.
492
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:06,380
It can be that fair is equal, but
493
00:21:06,380 --> 00:21:08,660
it's not always that fair is equal.
494
00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:14,780
Let's say in our hypothetical, you know, the
495
00:21:14,780 --> 00:21:21,060
daughter is highly successful professional, financially secure.
496
00:21:22,660 --> 00:21:27,320
Um, and well off, whereas, uh, Sonny's been
497
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:27,860
struggling.
498
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:29,040
He's been bouncing around.
499
00:21:29,220 --> 00:21:29,320
Yeah.
500
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:32,180
You know, so what's, what's fair in that
501
00:21:32,180 --> 00:21:32,720
scenario?
502
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:37,320
Um, equal might be fair, but there might
503
00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,900
be a sense of, well, I think, um,
504
00:21:40,420 --> 00:21:42,600
Sonny needs a little bit more help, you
505
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:44,100
know, that kind of thing, you know, so
506
00:21:44,100 --> 00:21:45,800
that, but maybe we'll keep it in a
507
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:49,940
trust and not necessarily give that money to
508
00:21:49,940 --> 00:21:53,000
Sonny to, because he's not as good with
509
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:54,200
money or whatever it might be.
510
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:55,060
Right.
511
00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:57,780
So there's no right or wrong answer for
512
00:21:57,780 --> 00:21:58,600
mom and dad here.
513
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:01,400
It's, it's, it's their money, their assets.
514
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:04,420
They get to decide, but the tough part
515
00:22:04,420 --> 00:22:05,600
is what do you communicate?
516
00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:08,080
Because if you, you gotta make sure you're
517
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:10,960
saying something to daughter in that scenario that
518
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:14,300
says, you know, I love you.
519
00:22:14,460 --> 00:22:14,900
Right.
520
00:22:15,260 --> 00:22:17,880
You know, but look, look how well you've
521
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:18,160
done.
522
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:20,060
We have total confidence.
523
00:22:20,220 --> 00:22:20,840
You're fine.
524
00:22:21,580 --> 00:22:21,940
You know what I mean?
525
00:22:21,980 --> 00:22:24,500
If they hear that, that's one thing and
526
00:22:24,500 --> 00:22:26,940
they say, okay, therefore I'm doing something different
527
00:22:26,940 --> 00:22:29,980
than what might seem fair, uh, equal.
528
00:22:32,140 --> 00:22:34,980
Um, or if they just find out at
529
00:22:34,980 --> 00:22:36,940
the reading of the will, what the hell,
530
00:22:37,540 --> 00:22:39,380
you know, they might feel like they've been
531
00:22:39,380 --> 00:22:40,300
slighted somehow.
532
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:44,220
The daughter could very well feel less than,
533
00:22:44,340 --> 00:22:44,580
right?
534
00:22:44,580 --> 00:22:45,080
Yeah.
535
00:22:45,540 --> 00:22:49,220
And more inclined to want to contest things.
536
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:50,080
Sure.
537
00:22:50,500 --> 00:22:53,320
To, you know, to say, wait a second,
538
00:22:53,420 --> 00:22:54,260
that's not right.
539
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:55,480
You know, that kind of thing.
540
00:22:55,620 --> 00:22:57,920
But if there's been some discussion and some
541
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:00,300
disclosure, it may be different.
542
00:23:01,140 --> 00:23:03,500
So some of these conversations are very difficult.
543
00:23:03,500 --> 00:23:07,200
We're, we're encouraging these conversations, but we've also,
544
00:23:07,340 --> 00:23:09,620
we also know that sometimes people are not
545
00:23:09,620 --> 00:23:12,320
going to have these conversations because of, because
546
00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:13,900
they just can't get there.
547
00:23:13,900 --> 00:23:16,560
You know, they just can't emotionally get there
548
00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:17,820
or handle that conversation.
549
00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:20,380
Don't you think in New England, we, we
550
00:23:20,380 --> 00:23:21,660
tend to have a little bit of a
551
00:23:21,660 --> 00:23:25,680
different culture sometimes about money and disconnect and
552
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:29,340
openness about much private, much more private, conservative.
553
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:31,640
Yes.
554
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:34,040
It's none of your business, you know, kind
555
00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:37,900
of a mindset, you know, and, uh, that's,
556
00:23:37,980 --> 00:23:41,980
I think that's a very common, uh, modus
557
00:23:41,980 --> 00:23:43,060
operandi, right.
558
00:23:43,340 --> 00:23:47,040
That, um, you know, it's just, I don't
559
00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:48,560
share that kind of thing with my kids,
560
00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:49,400
none of their business.
561
00:23:49,500 --> 00:23:50,260
I don't want them knowing.
562
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:52,500
That's another thing to talk about.
563
00:23:52,580 --> 00:23:57,440
Sometimes people get worried that the next generation
564
00:23:57,440 --> 00:23:59,860
is going to try to control things, take
565
00:23:59,860 --> 00:24:06,340
over, or perhaps, uh, you know, put them
566
00:24:06,340 --> 00:24:08,920
away, you know, in a nursing home and
567
00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:10,080
take over their money.
568
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:12,660
And, you know, some of those fears that
569
00:24:12,660 --> 00:24:14,980
can evolve, right.
570
00:24:15,300 --> 00:24:15,820
Absolutely.
571
00:24:16,340 --> 00:24:17,480
How do you deal with that?
572
00:24:18,300 --> 00:24:20,820
Well, you can deal with it by not
573
00:24:20,820 --> 00:24:25,100
naming your family as your trustee or power
574
00:24:25,100 --> 00:24:25,480
of attorney.
575
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:28,300
Maybe you have a trusted friend or someone
576
00:24:28,300 --> 00:24:29,460
who's not a beneficiary.
577
00:24:29,700 --> 00:24:31,760
There are, there are, there is merit to
578
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:35,260
having a non-beneficiary being the executor or
579
00:24:35,260 --> 00:24:36,660
trustee or power of attorney.
580
00:24:37,220 --> 00:24:40,020
They usually do get some compensation for that.
581
00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:40,560
Yep.
582
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:43,380
Reasonable compensation is usually, you know, in the
583
00:24:43,380 --> 00:24:45,700
documents and you can outline that greater if
584
00:24:45,700 --> 00:24:45,980
you want.
585
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:49,940
That can solve that anxiety of like, oh,
586
00:24:50,020 --> 00:24:51,600
they're going to just want to grab my
587
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:52,740
money and put me away.
588
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:53,680
You know, that kind of thing.
589
00:24:53,740 --> 00:24:55,900
Well, if they're not interested, if they don't
590
00:24:55,900 --> 00:24:57,360
benefit, why would they do that?
591
00:24:57,680 --> 00:24:57,880
Right.
592
00:24:58,060 --> 00:24:59,420
If it's, you know, that kind of thing.
593
00:24:59,660 --> 00:25:02,240
And that non-family member can stand in
594
00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:05,060
if there's disputes and, you know, be firm
595
00:25:05,060 --> 00:25:06,140
and without any emotion.
596
00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:10,040
Making business decisions are easier than making family
597
00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:11,600
decisions sometimes, right?
598
00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:12,320
Yeah.
599
00:25:13,340 --> 00:25:16,340
Let's talk just related to this.
600
00:25:18,940 --> 00:25:21,040
Families that don't have kids.
601
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:22,500
Yep.
602
00:25:23,140 --> 00:25:27,780
And now one spouse is left alone.
603
00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:32,680
And this has not been uncommon that.
604
00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:33,640
No.
605
00:25:34,360 --> 00:25:37,360
The, you know, the family's gone.
606
00:25:38,020 --> 00:25:41,580
Maybe the siblings are older or have died
607
00:25:41,580 --> 00:25:41,860
off.
608
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:42,480
Pre-deceased.
609
00:25:42,660 --> 00:25:42,760
Sure.
610
00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:47,080
And then there's like, who am I going
611
00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:47,700
to talk to?
612
00:25:48,380 --> 00:25:50,800
Who's going to be that person that could
613
00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:51,100
step in?
614
00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:52,820
Well, maybe there's nieces and nephews.
615
00:25:53,980 --> 00:25:55,480
But how committed are they?
616
00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:56,020
Yeah.
617
00:25:57,120 --> 00:26:01,420
You know, I think that's a common and
618
00:26:01,420 --> 00:26:02,060
challenging.
619
00:26:02,340 --> 00:26:06,300
It's not an easy, I totally can concede.
620
00:26:06,500 --> 00:26:09,640
It is not an easy option to how
621
00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:10,560
do I handle this?
622
00:26:10,940 --> 00:26:11,920
Who do I turn to?
623
00:26:12,660 --> 00:26:14,740
There are professionals, as you were saying.
624
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:17,020
But even there, like, are they going to
625
00:26:17,020 --> 00:26:18,840
care about my health care proxy?
626
00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:20,900
Probably not the health care proxy.
627
00:26:21,020 --> 00:26:23,060
They might do a decent job managing your
628
00:26:23,060 --> 00:26:25,040
assets and paying your bills.
629
00:26:25,360 --> 00:26:28,240
And that can be very prudent, especially if
630
00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:29,780
you're getting older and you start, you know,
631
00:26:29,820 --> 00:26:32,540
you find yourself forgetting to pay something or
632
00:26:32,540 --> 00:26:33,080
you're not sure.
633
00:26:33,500 --> 00:26:33,620
Yeah.
634
00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:36,540
Don't you want somebody watching over them, right?
635
00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:38,720
I'd rather have a professional.
636
00:26:38,780 --> 00:26:40,520
It's going to cost money, of course.
637
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:42,720
But I'd rather have a professional doing that
638
00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:46,100
than asking a neighbor or, you know, just
639
00:26:46,100 --> 00:26:50,120
some random friend or, quite frankly, a niece
640
00:26:50,120 --> 00:26:52,120
or nephew that I've seen three times in
641
00:26:52,120 --> 00:26:52,560
my life.
642
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:52,800
Right.
643
00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:53,520
Yeah.
644
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:55,980
I think there's more opportunities for fraud and
645
00:26:55,980 --> 00:26:58,940
mismanagement there than paying a couple percent or
646
00:26:58,940 --> 00:27:01,520
whatever the fee would be to a professional.
647
00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:04,300
But the health care proxy is definitely one
648
00:27:04,300 --> 00:27:07,540
that you don't see professional health care proxies
649
00:27:07,540 --> 00:27:08,140
out there.
650
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:08,640
No.
651
00:27:08,860 --> 00:27:09,540
For good reason.
652
00:27:09,620 --> 00:27:09,840
Right.
653
00:27:09,900 --> 00:27:11,440
I mean, that shouldn't be a business.
654
00:27:12,120 --> 00:27:13,900
No, I think it's challenging for sure.
655
00:27:14,060 --> 00:27:16,640
So in any case, there's not an easy
656
00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:17,900
answer on that.
657
00:27:18,060 --> 00:27:19,900
Then you're trying to think in terms of
658
00:27:19,900 --> 00:27:24,880
friends, and probably as who could be that.
659
00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:29,380
And the older you get, the more difficult
660
00:27:29,380 --> 00:27:30,860
that becomes, I think.
661
00:27:31,100 --> 00:27:31,520
That's right.
662
00:27:31,700 --> 00:27:34,480
Identify who will serve that function.
663
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:39,700
Similarly, Jeff, maybe, I don't know if this
664
00:27:39,700 --> 00:27:41,260
is stuff you wanted to talk about, but
665
00:27:41,260 --> 00:27:44,740
maybe, you know, going down a rabbit hole.
666
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:49,660
But sometimes families have not only the issue
667
00:27:49,660 --> 00:27:52,720
with someone who's either not good with money,
668
00:27:53,380 --> 00:27:57,020
failure to launch, whatever that kind of mindset
669
00:27:57,020 --> 00:28:02,680
is, or addictions or things that could complicate
670
00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:06,520
their, you know, their family's, you know, willingness
671
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:09,200
or confidence that it makes sense to put
672
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:11,680
them in charge of these resources that they
673
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:12,420
might have available.
674
00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:14,480
And a trust is a good solution for
675
00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:15,280
that circumstance.
676
00:28:15,980 --> 00:28:19,140
But there are increasingly other circumstances, what if
677
00:28:19,140 --> 00:28:24,280
my kid has autism or, you know, or
678
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:27,060
something where they're on stage or special needs,
679
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:32,600
maybe schizophrenia, and they're, you know, limited in
680
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:35,100
their ability to hold down a job or
681
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:37,220
fill in the blank, right?
682
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:41,220
There's you can picture different ailments or health
683
00:28:41,220 --> 00:28:46,880
considerations that have limitations on one's abilities, whether
684
00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:52,540
they're, you know, medical, or mental health, you
685
00:28:52,540 --> 00:28:54,560
know, kinds of whatever it might be.
686
00:28:57,140 --> 00:28:59,960
There's a variety of circumstances, or, you know,
687
00:29:00,020 --> 00:29:02,760
Down syndrome, as an example, someone can live
688
00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:06,700
a long life, but may have some degree
689
00:29:06,700 --> 00:29:09,760
of autonomy, but, you know, also may be
690
00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:12,220
benefiting from state benefits.
691
00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:16,940
And, you know, what does one do, they
692
00:29:16,940 --> 00:29:21,100
can't certainly necessarily fill the role of healthcare
693
00:29:21,100 --> 00:29:23,540
proxy in some of these instances, right?
694
00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:26,540
They may not be the person to be
695
00:29:26,540 --> 00:29:27,160
a trustee.
696
00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:29,240
In fact, it may be that we need
697
00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:31,360
to make plans for some of these people
698
00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:33,460
that outlives us, right?
699
00:29:33,580 --> 00:29:35,480
As a parent, we think that way, right?
700
00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:37,700
So just, I mean, there's all kinds of
701
00:29:37,700 --> 00:29:38,740
range of circumstances.
702
00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:41,240
I kind of threw into one big jumble
703
00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:44,740
there, but let's talk about that for a
704
00:29:44,740 --> 00:29:46,540
minute or two too, because that is a
705
00:29:46,540 --> 00:29:49,540
whole other area of complexity in this family
706
00:29:49,540 --> 00:29:54,400
planning discussion that we're talking about here.
707
00:29:55,580 --> 00:29:56,880
What do you, what do you, what do
708
00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:58,340
you want to add to that part of
709
00:29:58,340 --> 00:29:58,940
the discussion?
710
00:29:58,940 --> 00:30:02,800
I'll put those scenarios in two different buckets,
711
00:30:03,020 --> 00:30:03,640
just to start.
712
00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:09,160
Bucket one is for individuals who, your beneficiaries,
713
00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:12,560
who should not receive a large summer money
714
00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:13,800
or be managing it, right?
715
00:30:14,060 --> 00:30:16,200
For whatever reason, you know, you mentioned some
716
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:19,260
good ones, but it's not to their benefit.
717
00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:21,300
It might be to their benefit for one
718
00:30:21,300 --> 00:30:22,160
weekend, right?
719
00:30:23,020 --> 00:30:25,770
They'd have like a weekend, but so...
720
00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:27,040
No, not real.
721
00:30:27,100 --> 00:30:27,980
But even that, right?
722
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:29,180
Hazardous, right?
723
00:30:29,300 --> 00:30:29,560
Right.
724
00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:31,440
And then the other bucket is for people
725
00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:33,960
who just don't have the ability to manage
726
00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:36,720
their own money or that they might be
727
00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:39,240
subject to losing benefits or be taking advantage
728
00:30:39,240 --> 00:30:42,100
of financial advice, you know, a career or
729
00:30:42,100 --> 00:30:42,440
something.
730
00:30:44,300 --> 00:30:46,920
But without doing a whole episode on it,
731
00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:50,700
this is where a good trust attorney really
732
00:30:50,700 --> 00:30:55,040
comes into play because whatever the example is,
733
00:30:55,140 --> 00:30:56,740
whatever the concern is, whether it's, you want
734
00:30:56,740 --> 00:30:58,560
to support a loved one who has a
735
00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:01,000
cognitive disability over the next 40 or 50
736
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:04,900
years, or you just don't want your beneficiary
737
00:31:04,900 --> 00:31:06,600
to get a lump sum of money, you
738
00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:08,860
know, even if they're working, it's just not
739
00:31:08,860 --> 00:31:10,040
going to be healthy for them to do
740
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:10,340
that.
741
00:31:11,020 --> 00:31:14,260
There's different trust provisions for each that can
742
00:31:14,260 --> 00:31:15,800
really accommodate your needs.
743
00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:19,140
And when there are some circumstances like state
744
00:31:19,140 --> 00:31:23,300
benefits involved, there's particular kinds of trusts that
745
00:31:23,300 --> 00:31:28,940
can be utilized to have discretionary resources to
746
00:31:28,940 --> 00:31:34,000
be available without disrupting state benefits that's worth,
747
00:31:34,900 --> 00:31:36,360
you know, again, like you said, good, the
748
00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:37,360
right kind of attorney.
749
00:31:37,980 --> 00:31:39,460
But I think this also brings us back
750
00:31:39,460 --> 00:31:41,960
to the financial planning components of this.
751
00:31:42,580 --> 00:31:45,960
And thinking in terms of, in that case,
752
00:31:46,300 --> 00:31:48,620
we're not just planning for a couple to
753
00:31:48,620 --> 00:31:51,900
not outlive their resources, as an example, or
754
00:31:51,900 --> 00:31:52,420
an individual.
755
00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:57,420
But now we're thinking about maybe multi-generational,
756
00:31:57,700 --> 00:32:01,700
like not running out of resources and doing
757
00:32:01,700 --> 00:32:05,420
some planning that can forecast how does that
758
00:32:05,420 --> 00:32:05,820
work?
759
00:32:06,300 --> 00:32:08,880
How do we make sure that we don't
760
00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:13,420
have an issue over, you know, two generations
761
00:32:13,420 --> 00:32:15,100
of lifetime, if you will.
762
00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:21,760
And sometimes that can involve just planning around
763
00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:23,100
how we manage the wealth.
764
00:32:23,780 --> 00:32:26,020
And other times we can have, you know,
765
00:32:26,020 --> 00:32:29,200
thoughts around insurance planning, making sure we create
766
00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:32,640
more wealth with an insurance policy or something
767
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:33,620
along those lines.
768
00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:39,780
Anyway, there's the whole financial planning element.
769
00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:41,420
We spent a lot of time talking about
770
00:32:41,420 --> 00:32:46,600
the estate planning considerations of these kinds of
771
00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:48,280
discussions and conversations.
772
00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:51,120
I think we also need to talk a
773
00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:54,180
little about the financial implications.
774
00:32:54,740 --> 00:32:58,000
And, you know, this goes back to that
775
00:32:58,000 --> 00:32:59,560
question of how much do you want to
776
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:03,080
reveal to your family about what you have,
777
00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:04,820
where you have it?
778
00:33:05,460 --> 00:33:06,680
How's it positioned?
779
00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:10,660
What kind of expenses are you incurring?
780
00:33:12,140 --> 00:33:14,520
Do you have money in a safety deposit
781
00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:17,120
box or, you know, valuables in a safety
782
00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:18,000
deposit box?
783
00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:19,640
Do they have access to that?
784
00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:24,020
Do you have, you know, the little packet
785
00:33:24,020 --> 00:33:26,520
in the upper left-hand drawer where, you
786
00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:28,800
know, it's like when I die folder or
787
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:29,160
whatever.
788
00:33:30,180 --> 00:33:30,640
Yeah.
789
00:33:30,940 --> 00:33:33,440
You know, do they know where to find
790
00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:33,780
that?
791
00:33:35,940 --> 00:33:38,180
I had a conversation with my mom just
792
00:33:38,180 --> 00:33:39,580
the other day where she was like, hey,
793
00:33:39,620 --> 00:33:42,040
when I die, here's what I want my
794
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:43,180
mask to be.
795
00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:45,380
You know, it's got a game plan.
796
00:33:45,680 --> 00:33:46,780
Very common.
797
00:33:46,980 --> 00:33:48,900
I've got some music I'd like.
798
00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:51,000
My mother did the same thing.
799
00:33:51,100 --> 00:33:52,240
She picked up songs.
800
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:53,220
Absolutely.
801
00:33:56,100 --> 00:33:58,400
So, you know, that can range just like
802
00:33:58,400 --> 00:33:59,240
the state plan.
803
00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:01,680
That could range from, you know, there's an
804
00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:04,640
envelope here to, you know, I'd also like
805
00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:07,060
to see people say, here's my attorney.
806
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:09,400
Here's my financial advisor.
807
00:34:09,980 --> 00:34:10,380
You know what?
808
00:34:10,460 --> 00:34:11,440
It's unique to everyone.
809
00:34:11,520 --> 00:34:13,360
But here are the people to contact to
810
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:13,820
help you.
811
00:34:14,199 --> 00:34:14,380
Right.
812
00:34:14,480 --> 00:34:14,800
Yeah.
813
00:34:14,980 --> 00:34:16,139
I want them to help you.
814
00:34:16,179 --> 00:34:17,460
And if you have a question, I want
815
00:34:17,460 --> 00:34:19,520
you to ask this person.
816
00:34:19,620 --> 00:34:20,780
This is my accountant.
817
00:34:20,920 --> 00:34:22,300
This is going to need to do my
818
00:34:22,300 --> 00:34:22,699
taxes.
819
00:34:22,699 --> 00:34:24,980
All the things that you are worried about.
820
00:34:25,260 --> 00:34:25,440
Right.
821
00:34:25,580 --> 00:34:25,840
Yeah.
822
00:34:25,860 --> 00:34:26,820
Worry about this.
823
00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:30,940
Let them know, let your trustee, your executor
824
00:34:30,940 --> 00:34:33,260
or whatever term we're using here, know these
825
00:34:33,260 --> 00:34:33,620
things.
826
00:34:33,860 --> 00:34:35,880
So and tell them as much as you're
827
00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:36,940
comfortable with.
828
00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:39,980
I, you know, this line, this line is
829
00:34:39,980 --> 00:34:43,239
movable for people, but you can at least
830
00:34:43,239 --> 00:34:45,139
tell them who your financial advisor is, your
831
00:34:45,139 --> 00:34:48,120
attorney and your accountant, and perhaps have a
832
00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:48,480
meeting.
833
00:34:49,380 --> 00:34:52,500
In our example with your financial advisor and
834
00:34:52,500 --> 00:34:55,100
go over some of your maybe it's a
835
00:34:55,100 --> 00:34:56,660
setting that you can share some things that
836
00:34:56,660 --> 00:34:59,200
you haven't shared and some thoughts and desires
837
00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:01,520
that you haven't been able to share around
838
00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:02,220
the kitchen table.
839
00:35:02,340 --> 00:35:03,720
Maybe you can do it in the structure
840
00:35:03,720 --> 00:35:06,560
of a meeting with your financial advisor or
841
00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:06,940
attorney.
842
00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:09,120
Yeah, that's good.
843
00:35:09,340 --> 00:35:10,240
Good planning.
844
00:35:12,700 --> 00:35:16,240
I, I have a client who has a
845
00:35:16,240 --> 00:35:18,700
long letter that he updates periodically.
846
00:35:19,540 --> 00:35:19,640
Right.
847
00:35:19,700 --> 00:35:21,780
And from time to time, he'll share it
848
00:35:21,780 --> 00:35:23,200
with me as to, you know, yours.
849
00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:26,140
And it's all about, you know, like talk
850
00:35:26,140 --> 00:35:26,880
to the attorney.
851
00:35:26,940 --> 00:35:28,340
Here's the name and the phone number.
852
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:29,160
Talk to us.
853
00:35:29,220 --> 00:35:30,180
There's the phone number.
854
00:35:32,500 --> 00:35:36,020
You know, I often think about other circumstances
855
00:35:36,020 --> 00:35:39,160
where what if something happened to one spouse
856
00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:43,520
and it would be great if they could
857
00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:47,260
share, you know, here's who I talked to
858
00:35:47,260 --> 00:35:48,180
about the taxes.
859
00:35:48,540 --> 00:35:51,700
Here's who I talked to about the mechanic,
860
00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:54,900
you know, for the car, you know, here's
861
00:35:54,900 --> 00:35:56,740
the guy who cleans the gutters, you know,
862
00:35:56,780 --> 00:35:57,120
whatever.
863
00:35:57,360 --> 00:35:57,560
Right.
864
00:35:57,720 --> 00:35:59,600
You know, some of those, some of those
865
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:02,420
kind of mundane things that, well, if you
866
00:36:02,420 --> 00:36:04,760
need a handyman, here's who I'd call, you
867
00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:07,620
know, because I think a lot of times
868
00:36:09,700 --> 00:36:12,760
survivors take on stuff they're not familiar with
869
00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:15,140
just in the chores and the stuff that
870
00:36:15,140 --> 00:36:17,480
we, we all split as in a household,
871
00:36:17,620 --> 00:36:18,740
you know, you do this and I'll do
872
00:36:18,740 --> 00:36:19,080
that.
873
00:36:21,820 --> 00:36:23,260
But what do I do?
874
00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:24,560
You know, who do I call?
875
00:36:24,940 --> 00:36:26,080
Yeah, that kind of thing.
876
00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:28,000
And it's more complicated today.
877
00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:34,960
Probably like most people, most people are using
878
00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:39,020
online bill paying or you get your bills
879
00:36:39,020 --> 00:36:41,960
actually online, you know, rather the old days
880
00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:42,780
you get everything in the mail.
881
00:36:42,900 --> 00:36:44,100
So you just kind of wait it out.
882
00:36:44,260 --> 00:36:44,420
Right.
883
00:36:44,540 --> 00:36:44,820
Yeah.
884
00:36:44,900 --> 00:36:45,700
They didn't know.
885
00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:46,120
Right.
886
00:36:46,500 --> 00:36:46,740
Yeah.
887
00:36:46,860 --> 00:36:48,660
Cause we'd get some, but if you don't
888
00:36:48,660 --> 00:36:52,140
have access to that email and things are
889
00:36:52,140 --> 00:36:54,780
happening automatically, you might see it on a
890
00:36:54,780 --> 00:36:55,480
bank statement.
891
00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:58,760
Again, if you have a bank statement joint
892
00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:01,120
or in a trust or something, but if
893
00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:05,600
it's individual, you know, what do you do
894
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:05,940
then?
895
00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:06,420
Right.
896
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:10,460
Well, I had a neighbor who was married,
897
00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:13,540
her husband died and she didn't have any
898
00:37:13,540 --> 00:37:14,860
children back to that example.
899
00:37:15,140 --> 00:37:16,520
And he handled everything.
900
00:37:17,300 --> 00:37:20,260
So she did not have access to his
901
00:37:20,260 --> 00:37:22,140
email and everything.
902
00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:23,320
He did everything online.
903
00:37:23,540 --> 00:37:25,660
So she would, she didn't even really know
904
00:37:25,660 --> 00:37:26,320
the banks.
905
00:37:26,520 --> 00:37:26,680
Right.
906
00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:27,440
Yeah.
907
00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:30,380
So, you know, it's challenging.
908
00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:31,820
How'd you get, how'd you resolve that?
909
00:37:32,780 --> 00:37:34,440
Fortunately she had tax returns.
910
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:37,160
Well she also had you helping her out.
911
00:37:37,380 --> 00:37:37,700
Right.
912
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:41,200
And ultimately we found a nephew that was
913
00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:44,000
available to help and interested, you know, qualified
914
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:44,560
person.
915
00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:47,040
So, but I'm just using that example.
916
00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:48,980
If you're not engaged, if you have the
917
00:37:48,980 --> 00:37:51,720
spouse that's not engaged and everything's online or
918
00:37:51,720 --> 00:37:55,860
almost everything online, you know, it's more valuable
919
00:37:55,860 --> 00:37:57,620
than a phone number is what's the password,
920
00:37:58,020 --> 00:38:00,260
you know, to, to at least where I
921
00:38:00,260 --> 00:38:00,780
can start.
922
00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:01,200
Right.
923
00:38:01,940 --> 00:38:02,560
Yeah.
924
00:38:03,380 --> 00:38:07,900
So I've told you the, the, the thing
925
00:38:07,900 --> 00:38:11,560
I always worry about with these is, you
926
00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:15,200
know, suddenly there's a things flown thrown across
927
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:16,740
the room, you know, you mean the family
928
00:38:16,740 --> 00:38:21,380
meeting at the family, the family meeting turns
929
00:38:21,380 --> 00:38:24,900
a hostile or something, you know, no, you
930
00:38:24,900 --> 00:38:27,460
know, just emotions can, can run deep on
931
00:38:27,460 --> 00:38:28,000
these things.
932
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:30,920
And so that's one of those things that
933
00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:33,480
I think parents have to be prepared to
934
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:34,880
elaborate one.
935
00:38:35,220 --> 00:38:36,780
This is what I want.
936
00:38:36,900 --> 00:38:37,420
Right.
937
00:38:37,540 --> 00:38:39,880
It's they've made a decision and it's their
938
00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:40,400
intention.
939
00:38:41,220 --> 00:38:43,000
But I think it's also important that they
940
00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:46,280
convey some of the emotion.
941
00:38:48,100 --> 00:38:50,420
I, you know, they have to be in
942
00:38:50,420 --> 00:38:53,240
a position where they're able to convey to
943
00:38:53,240 --> 00:38:59,600
their children, their adult children, their, their, their
944
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:03,940
pride, their love, their, you know, uh, all
945
00:39:03,940 --> 00:39:05,660
the things that they may need to hear
946
00:39:05,660 --> 00:39:08,960
a little bit to, uh, accept some of
947
00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:11,140
these things that otherwise might cause them to
948
00:39:11,140 --> 00:39:12,700
feel tension and stress.
949
00:39:12,920 --> 00:39:13,220
Yeah.
950
00:39:13,700 --> 00:39:15,980
Um, it's really a gift to have these
951
00:39:15,980 --> 00:39:16,400
meetings.
952
00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:17,900
And if you can't have the meeting to
953
00:39:17,900 --> 00:39:20,460
have that letter that you talked about, you
954
00:39:20,460 --> 00:39:23,880
know, that's really detailed and unique, um, in
955
00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:27,360
some ways, maybe both, but the key is
956
00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:30,060
to have some type of communication and not
957
00:39:30,060 --> 00:39:32,420
just leave everybody guessing what your wishes are,
958
00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:35,440
what your finances are, what your plan was.
959
00:39:36,100 --> 00:39:37,960
I think it's a gift to your family
960
00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:39,480
to do those difficult things.
961
00:39:40,240 --> 00:39:40,340
Right.
962
00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:42,300
One of the best things you might do
963
00:39:42,300 --> 00:39:45,280
in this process is not only engage your
964
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:49,040
family in the process, but engage your financial
965
00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:53,580
and, uh, attorney and accountant kind of professionals
966
00:39:53,580 --> 00:39:59,840
in the process so that, um, introductions, you
967
00:39:59,840 --> 00:40:03,280
know, let your family know who you deal
968
00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:05,920
with and they know who they can talk
969
00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:08,500
to, you know, that everyone is introduced and
970
00:40:08,500 --> 00:40:09,440
has familiarity.
971
00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:13,980
Maybe there's also elements of, uh, helping in
972
00:40:13,980 --> 00:40:16,780
that process of walking through some of these
973
00:40:16,780 --> 00:40:17,180
things.
974
00:40:17,180 --> 00:40:20,000
And maybe that works out to, uh, uh,
975
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:22,340
like, you know, maybe you explain to your
976
00:40:22,340 --> 00:40:24,540
financial advisor, I'd like you to walk them
977
00:40:24,540 --> 00:40:26,180
through a little bit about our plan.
978
00:40:26,820 --> 00:40:28,600
Uh, so they know, you know, that kind
979
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:30,140
of thing, you may want that done.
980
00:40:30,700 --> 00:40:34,560
And I think in that context, uh, maybe
981
00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:38,000
some clarity around what kind of circumstance do
982
00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:38,960
we want to discuss?
983
00:40:39,620 --> 00:40:42,780
Um, not only just the current, Hey, this
984
00:40:42,780 --> 00:40:46,060
is where we're at, but the eventualities of
985
00:40:46,060 --> 00:40:48,320
the what-ifs if I die first, if
986
00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:50,680
they die first, what do we expect to
987
00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:50,980
happen?
988
00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:52,520
What's going to be the process?
989
00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:55,240
If something happens that there's a prolonged illness,
990
00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:58,460
how do we envision that being played out
991
00:40:58,460 --> 00:40:59,840
and so forth?
992
00:40:59,980 --> 00:41:02,500
You know, a little bit of the, the
993
00:41:02,500 --> 00:41:04,400
game plan of what we want to cover,
994
00:41:05,080 --> 00:41:07,380
but sometimes a little bit of help in
995
00:41:07,380 --> 00:41:10,880
that process can be a buffer and also
996
00:41:10,880 --> 00:41:11,360
help.
997
00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:12,080
Yeah.
998
00:41:12,420 --> 00:41:15,680
The structure of that can be a lot
999
00:41:15,680 --> 00:41:17,940
more effective than trying to get everyone around
1000
00:41:17,940 --> 00:41:20,580
the kitchen table, you know, with the ball
1001
00:41:20,580 --> 00:41:22,940
game on in the back and everybody's emotions
1002
00:41:22,940 --> 00:41:25,240
on their sleeves and the dogs barking at
1003
00:41:25,240 --> 00:41:25,680
the door.
1004
00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:28,160
And, you know, the structure of a meeting
1005
00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:30,660
in a professional setting with a, with a
1006
00:41:30,660 --> 00:41:32,700
plan of what is to be articulated and
1007
00:41:32,700 --> 00:41:33,720
what's not.
1008
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:34,260
Yeah.
1009
00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:35,740
Somewhat of an agenda maybe.
1010
00:41:37,020 --> 00:41:38,800
And the introductions have value.
1011
00:41:38,900 --> 00:41:41,380
You know, if you're a sibling or a
1012
00:41:41,380 --> 00:41:44,240
child or beneficiary, um, it's going to be
1013
00:41:44,240 --> 00:41:46,220
a lot easier to call you or call
1014
00:41:46,220 --> 00:41:47,960
the attorney if you've met them and you
1015
00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:50,280
have some understanding of what's going on than
1016
00:41:50,280 --> 00:41:53,020
just randomly trying to find out who was
1017
00:41:53,020 --> 00:41:54,160
the financial advisor.
1018
00:41:54,420 --> 00:41:55,360
Where are the assets?
1019
00:41:55,560 --> 00:41:56,380
Who is the attorney?
1020
00:41:57,560 --> 00:41:57,700
Right.
1021
00:41:58,340 --> 00:41:58,760
Right.
1022
00:41:58,980 --> 00:42:02,200
So with that, um, we cover a lot,
1023
00:42:02,420 --> 00:42:04,240
hopefully of some value to you to get
1024
00:42:04,240 --> 00:42:06,700
started with your thinking about these issues.
1025
00:42:07,220 --> 00:42:10,160
Uh, definitely needs some thought before you start
1026
00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:14,440
to execute, uh, but give consideration, speak to
1027
00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:17,480
an attorney about your estate plan, uh, work
1028
00:42:17,480 --> 00:42:18,840
with your financial advisor.
1029
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:20,720
And if you don't have someone in that
1030
00:42:20,720 --> 00:42:24,300
role, uh, we're happy to speak with you
1031
00:42:24,300 --> 00:42:25,940
to see if we can be a resource
1032
00:42:25,940 --> 00:42:29,140
in thinking about not only these issues, but
1033
00:42:29,140 --> 00:42:32,420
also, uh, the overall planning around your financial
1034
00:42:32,420 --> 00:42:34,800
plan and your portfolio design.
1035
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:37,280
Thanks everyone for joining us until next time.
1036
00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:39,260
Keep striving for something more.
1037
00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:42,660
Thank you for listening to something more with
1038
00:42:42,660 --> 00:42:43,380
Chris Boyd.
1039
00:42:43,660 --> 00:42:45,820
Call us for help, whether it's for financial
1040
00:42:45,820 --> 00:42:49,760
planning or portfolio management insurance concerns, or those
1041
00:42:49,760 --> 00:42:51,800
quality of life issues that make the money
1042
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:52,920
matters matter.
1043
00:42:53,240 --> 00:42:55,420
Whatever's on your mind, visit us at something
1044
00:42:55,420 --> 00:42:58,400
more with chrisboyd.com or call us toll
1045
00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:04,280
free at 866-771-8901 or send us
1046
00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:09,220
your questions to amr-info at wealthenhancement.com.
1047
00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:11,340
You're listening to something more with Chris Boyd
1048
00:43:11,340 --> 00:43:13,960
financial talk show wealth enhancement, advisory services, and
1049
00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:16,100
Jay Christopher Boyd provide investment advice on an
1050
00:43:16,100 --> 00:43:17,400
individual basis to clients.
1051
00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:19,540
Only proper advice depends on a complete analysis
1052
00:43:19,540 --> 00:43:21,000
of all facts and circumstances.
1053
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:23,080
The information given on this program is general
1054
00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:25,100
financial comments and cannot be relied upon as
1055
00:43:25,100 --> 00:43:26,720
pertaining to your specific situation.
1056
00:43:26,900 --> 00:43:28,880
Wealth Enhancement Group cannot guarantee that using the
1057
00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:30,880
information from this show will generate profits or
1058
00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:31,980
ensure freedom from loss.
1059
00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:34,340
Listeners should consult their own financial advisors or
1060
00:43:34,340 --> 00:43:36,460
conduct their own due diligence before making any
1061
00:43:36,460 --> 00:43:37,220
financial decisions.
