Celeb Confessions, Royal Auctions, and Sitcom Triumphs

Hold on, hold on.
Let me take a sip.
Hello, Tori.
Hello, Stephanie.
I am officially brain dead.
Oh, yeah?
Oh, yeah.
I have like one day left before I can like leave here and I'm very excited for it.
And then my son throws in the, Mom, I got a basketball game on Friday night.
Uh, that would have been helpful to know when I was organizing my week.
I know.
Okay.
Yep.
So that just pushes us all off of our plans for an extra 12 hours.
It's fine.
I'm fine.
Everyone's fine.
Is he any good at basketball?
He's okay.
I mean, it's the freshman team.
It's like the extra team.
Does he like need to play or can he see like suddenly having the flow?
No, he's a starter.
I'll let him play.
It's really his favorite sport.
I know.
I know.
Whatever.
Let him run around and whatever.
He sent me no less than 12 TikToks of why we should not be going to New York for Christmas.
So he doesn't want to go?
He wants to stay home?
Of course.
He wants to stay at home and sit in his underwear and play Fortnite for the entire week.
Given the things that he could be allowed to do, that's what he would wish to do.
Got it.
And we've told him that's absolutely not happening.
We're literally taking you away from the Fortnite on purpose so you cannot play.
Correct.
Can he take a mobile?
He'll find something.
My brother's a gamer also.
I'm sure there is plenty of stuff there for him to get into.
They're a breed.
Yeah, that's a whole version of... I can't say anything.
I played video games for two hours last night.
See?
I should shut up.
Quit while you're ahead.
Are you ready for everything?
Which things?
Christmas.
Um, actually, yeah, I'm in, I'm in the like final purchasing, but it seems to be the, like, every time I do anything, it just costs me a hundred dollars.
So, but it's fine.
It's fine.
Are you splitting your time with a boyfriend, not boyfriend?
How are we easing him into family situation?
We're not.
Okay.
We're not.
That's the answer to that.
There's no, no, no, no.
I don't know if I would do that if he was boyfriend and, and not boyfriend, not boyfriend.
Like, I think that's like a, listen, I feel like, all right, I'll get real.
I was so involved with my ex's family.
Yeah.
Like my big ex, like I've dated people since then, but like,
we were so ingrained and I spent Christmas Eves there and Christmas nights there.
And like the reality is like, I just don't want to do it again until someone decides they want to be like a permanent fixture in my life.
I just don't feel like opening myself to that, especially on a day that I think should be about family and should be so self-reflective and so independent.
I think that that's fair.
Yeah, I just, and I didn't do it for Thanksgiving either.
Like, I just feel like I'm trying to give myself space and time.
And if the relationship gets there and develops to a point where we decide to spend holidays together, then great.
But in the meantime, like, no, I'm going to do my own thing and focus on my family and, you know, and just kind of keep myself centered and not...
you know we haven't done the family thing yet which is great for me like i don't i just i think i'm just like gun shy and all that stuff yeah now we'll revisit that in 2024 yeah yeah let me get in let me get a let me get a few more months under my belt and then yeah right see what happens i think this is just like a reflection i talked about with my therapist like this is just a reflection of trauma right that i like don't want to deal with any of this and she's like
Yeah.
Like, okay.
Okay.
But that's okay.
No one says you have to like go marching into the family business.
Like just if it happens, let it happen organically and you don't need to be like stressing out about it.
There's enough going on in the world.
Totally.
And I'm like doing little things like they know I exist.
They know he's seeing somebody.
I like bake cookies or bake pie or whatever.
Like I'll send something so he can bring some stuff.
Yeah, I'll do something so he can like bring some stuff to his family.
But no, I don't really want to deal with them yet.
And I want them.
I don't want him to deal with me yet.
And no, no, we're not there.
Not there.
Not there yet.
It's fine.
He's not even a boyfriend.
I know.
Yeah, it's a very weird dynamic.
We'll see how that changes in the new year.
I'm curious also.
I'm excited to see how it changes in the new year.
I don't know.
All right.
We ready to get into what's roasting?
Yes.
Do we have weird news today, too?
We do, which is, like, we're going to start weird and end weird, and there's going to be some normalcy in the middle.
So I figured as we're, like, going through this episode, I was like, okay, this is crazy.
Wait, this is crazier, but not... So let's just jump in, shall we?
We'll start in the 90s.
We'll start with Vanilla Ice, who...
all of a sudden decided to share with everybody, yeah, I partied with Pablo Escobar.
Ignorance was bliss in the 90s.
Then he was talking about how he got money, had an actual relationship with Pablo Escobar.
You can't be that ignorant to that, even in the 90s, right?
I feel like it's just there's the cool party.
Maybe he was hired as entertainment.
How do you find yourself in Pablo Escobar's company, right?
He was kind of that one-hit wonder of the 90s.
How do you not know what's going on when you're in Pablo Escobar's company is the better question.
How ignorant can you actually be?
Right.
He was along for the ride and nobody was telling him not to.
I feel like Vanilla Ice is such an interesting human being for who he is.
I mean, first off, his last name is rough.
It's Van Winkle, which is just... It's so random.
I know.
So Robert Van Winkle is his real name, and now he's got a DIY show, and he does home improvement.
So we've gone from partying with Escobar to I do home improvement stuff now because I needed to calm down.
It's hard because I wasn't really aware in the 90s.
I know all these characters, but I don't have real-life context to any of this.
Was that his...
Ice ice baby.
I mean, it fits the narrative.
That's it.
Like, did he do it?
That's the bar.
Okay.
No, no, we didn't.
And onto more information we really didn't need to have is the Jersey Shore.
Wait, wait.
I was going to say, is it somebody's sex life or is it somebody's relationship?
It's all of the life.
Ugh.
It's all of the life.
The situation details, MVP orgies, drug-fueled parties.
Oh, yes.
He's got a new book coming out.
And yes, his co-stars did know that it was coming out.
But they said, and I quote, at a minimum...
Or he said, Mike, the situation, by the way, is whose book this is.
At a minimum, I had threesomes every night, he writes in his book, before detailing hookups involving Vinny and Polly, joining the Mile High Club and not being able to perform due to his drug use.
He said, there's no sexual situation.
Mike, the situation leaves unturned.
And his new memoir, Reality Check, making the best of his situation, how I overcame addiction, loss, and prison.
It seems like you were having too much fun.
You had to go to jail.
Well, the best part was he went to jail for tax evasion.
He didn't go to jail for anything.
He didn't go to jail for being in trouble with any of this shit.
My brain is like wrapping itself around that.
You have so many threesomes.
It's just gross to me because he invited us into his relationship with his current wife and they're having another baby.
And I feel like you wanted to like I get everybody needs to make some money.
And this is how you think you're going to make this money right now for your family.
However, you're sharing all of that.
And maybe that's a big part of addiction is when you are in treatment.
Yeah, but it also was a little bit of, I wonder how his wife feels about it.
I would be disgusted.
Yeah, and, like, first of all, they had to have had all those conversations privately, right?
Like, here's where my past is.
Here's what I experienced.
Here's what I did.
She has to, like, get through the emotional process of knowing that he was involved in all of that and to that point.
much of a degree.
And then that was also in his life.
They were like, they went to high school together.
They've been together on and off for a really, really long time.
Yeah.
I don't know if as a partner, like if I found out, like if I found out boyfriend, a boyfriend was having threesomes every night, I don't know if I could get, I don't know if I could do it like from a character standpoint, but maybe her values are different or, I don't know.
I think for me, the next piece is like the publicity of it.
Yes.
Being OK with the fact that your partner, your man, the person that's supposed to stand by you is like coming out with all of these details.
I feel like it'd be a little bit of like we could close that chapter.
We could be down there.
Right.
But you know what's going to happen.
And I feel like it's going to put a strain on their relationship because, you know, they're going to be opportunistic.
people that they were involved with looking to also cash in on that side.
He's kicked open this door.
We're going to have the conversation.
Are you the girl?
Were you one of the 87 girls?
How crazy did it get?
Where were you on this number?
How wild did it get?
Or does he think this is mitigating it by opening the door to this?
I feel like this is Pandora's box.
He is not really even understanding what is going to open for him.
Makes you wonder with all of this stuff, especially going on.
What is the state?
Is it New York where the deadline's coming up?
Like for all the sexual assault cases makes you wonder how many people would come forward.
especially because he has word for word evidence that he was involved in a lot of sexual deviancy.
And, and I will call it that because I don't, maybe I don't have the right term for it, but he's communicating that he was already pushing the limit in terms of sexual openness with the partners at the time that he assumed was consensual, but he's already openly admitting the fact that he was involved in that.
So it would be a good opportunity for anybody to come forward now and be like, Hey, I actually didn't think that was that.
Okay.
Um,
um so i kind of wonder i mean i don't hope that but i do wonder what that means for that side of the coin too because it's hard to be like i was drunken on drugs and sleeping with everybody at the time and all of that which was totally fine and consensual something about that probably doesn't read somewhere yeah but i'm not saying it yeah i'm not saying it's inevitable but i am i don't know right though like doesn't that seem like it was like
Yeah, I feel like we've got all of our yuck yuck out.
Okay.
So let's move on.
This is a fashion story I posted.
I don't know if you can see the dress that was sold that was worn by Princess Diana for over a million dollars.
Oh, no, let me see.
It's hideous.
Oh, that's oh, I remember this.
Oh, yeah, it's bad.
But it's like iconic in its own right.
I'd wear that little yellow one behind it, though.
Right.
Both of them behind it.
Super cute.
But the one that sold for a million dollars, it looks like something my sister wore in the second grade.
And I just, I. This is fully something J crew would make for our crew cut section.
I'm not going to lie to you.
Like, I bet you, we will make it next year.
Oh my God.
For a crew cuts for our kids section.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
I bet you will make it next year, but so a million dollars.
A million dollars for that.
What did she wear it for?
A ballerina-length evening dress described as sweet and sophisticated.
Oh, no.
Worn at least twice by Princess Di in the mid-80s.
80s.
Mm-hmm.
It looks like it's like velvet with blue stars all over it.
It's like kind of a constellation.
But the drop waist for me is where you lose me.
If it was a regular waist, I might be able to get behind it.
But it's very 80s with the puff padded.
Oh, yeah.
We're talking shoulder pads.
Yeah.
Big bow.
I think that's velvet blue satin with the organs of tiered bottom and the bow on the hip.
It's a lot for me.
What?
Okay.
So let's say you buy this for a million dollars.
You have all the money in the world.
This is what you decide to do with it.
Then what?
Right.
Are you wearing it?
Are you just putting it in a box and saving it?
Are you putting it on display?
Like, I want to meet the buyer for this dress and then say, now what?
Right.
She's a pricey piece to just give to the hard rock.
You know what I mean?
Here's my million dollar dress to rent at a restaurant where vacationing families will go in and see.
Granted, I mean, she did wear this to the symphony orchestra and she did wear it on one of her royal tours with Prince Charles.
But
It just feels like everything.
And I wonder if Kate Middleton's stuff will be the same way, right?
Like everything she's worn or has or whatever is going to get like archived and tagged and then sold, donated.
Sidebar.
Apparently the family's Christmas card was severely photoshopped to the point where Louis was like missing a finger in one of the photos.
We can talk about this.
Okay.
I saw it.
I saw the picture.
I analyzed the picture.
I zoomed in to see it.
I don't think he's photoshopped.
Really?
I think he's a little kid with like an awkward hand position because his fingers are split and his thought, like his pinky is hidden.
I don't know how to describe it.
It's like his hand is like, I think he was giving the, I think he was giving the finger and they tried to get rid of it.
It looks like he was holding up the middle finger.
That's the one that's missing.
I think that he was like this with it.
And they were like, we can't have that.
I think he was a little kid that was like gripping the chair weird and nobody caught it.
The photographer didn't catch it.
And then they just caught it after it was already blown up.
And it was like, well, he's a little kid.
It's too late now.
What are you going to do?
I know.
Well, I think he was giving the middle finger.
They could not have that.
It's just like an awkward hand gesture.
thing it was just goes more to the lines of yeah he's a kid let him be a kid why or why are we going to mess with that photo but you think it was just he was holding his hand i think he was just he's just an awkward little boy and he like was holding that he was told to like put your hand on the chair and then he's standing there and he's told to be quiet and his
siblings are yelling and mom's like can we just hold still for one second and dad's like trying to make friends the photographer to make sure the photographer doesn't like hate the family and like go to the press and say how chaotic the family was and so he's like gripping the chair weird and then the internet blows up about how they were photoshopped like i think it was just like normal family chaos that got misinterpreted by photoshop
Totally could be.
Totally could be.
We had good news today from Big Bang Theory's Kate Micucci announced that she's cancer-free.
Very lucky.
I know she doesn't have to do any other treatment, but it's kind of crazy that someone who has never smoked, never environmentally around that kind of thing, kind of grew up a little bit in the country, a little bit in New Jersey, but also Pennsylvania, in Nazareth, Pennsylvania, and gets lung cancer at such a young age.
Yeah, well, it just goes to show you, like, you know, cancer doesn't... Discriminate.
Yeah.
No, and it's just really, it's strange.
But she's home free.
She's ready to live the rest of her life and in remission.
And I'm sure they'll keep a close eye on it.
Yeah, I know.
That is good news.
And she doesn't have to have any further treatment.
So I'm happy for her on that front.
That's huge.
Long-term cancer is sketchy.
Super scary also.
It's not like...
regular situation where you could just go there are so many stories okay let's keep going okay I know well there's new shows so I want to talk about the fact that I cannot stand Fred Armisen have we talked about this before no who is that Fred Armisen plays Uncle Fester in the new version of Wednesday
Okay.
Yes.
Got it.
So he's been an SNL alum.
He's had a bunch of shows that I just don't get his comedy.
And every time he does a skit, I just don't find it funny.
I feel that way with the entirety of SNL, so I get it.
See?
Exactly.
So he's getting his own spinoff from Wednesday, and I don't know.
Okay.
But the writing of Wednesday was superb.
It really was.
So I have a little bit of faith in it.
Like, I agree with you about him.
Yeah.
I have full faith in that franchise because I think they did an incredible job.
Although how much was them and how much was Jenny Ortega?
We don't know.
Right.
She is just like a dream.
But I don't know.
I have faith in them.
And I feel like they have too much money and too much reputation to like, fuck it up.
That's fair.
Although, don't let Fred Armisen write anything and you'll be fine, everyone.
Just make sure you follow the script and it'll be fine.
Yep, exactly.
Okay, so this script, I'm just still questioning and scratching my head at.
There's a new movie out right now that has been dubbed the worst ending of a movie of 2023.
It is on Netflix currently.
It's Julia Roberts.
It's Ethan Hawke.
Kevin Bacon's in it.
Mahershala Ali is in it.
So how could you have that sad of a movie and an ending if your cast is that star-studded?
Well, because that's what happens when you put too many stars in a movie.
It's guaranteed to be a bad movie.
Really?
You think so?
I really feel like the more stars.
What about Love Actually?
Well, we'll talk about Love Actually.
That is part of my weird news.
Okay.
But that is a different situation.
That's iconic.
Well, how do you know?
Where's the tipping point between bad and disastrous to iconic?
How do you know?
In Love, actually, a lot of them weren't superstars yet.
They became after.
Okay.
Whereas these people are all well A-list celebrities already.
Okay.
What about one of my favorite movies of all time that I think is one of the most star-studded cast?
Bewitched.
The movie with Will Ferrell.
It was okay.
My God, that movie's the best movie.
I love that movie.
I do not feel that.
But that's okay.
It might be a generational separation.
I love that movie.
It's like my comfort movie.
Really?
Yes, by far.
Maybe I have to give it another whirl.
You gotta give it another shot.
It's so cute.
Maybe it's my content wreck.
Oh, JK, it's Wednesday.
I'll save that for Friday.
Anyway, go back.
We've been all over the place.
I don't know what time it is in the day.
Um, I do have to confirm though.
I feel like it was a pretty bad ending and apparently it's a deviation from the novel.
So now I kind of want to watch the novel.
What movie is this?
I mean, read the novel.
Um, it is called, why did I delete it?
Is that the new one that came out?
Yes.
The Indian reservation.
Is that right?
No, it's like the universe is that the world is ending basically.
Oh,
What was that other movie that just came out based on... My grandma is screaming at the television because she told me to read the book and I didn't get a chance to yet.
Some movie about murder on an Indian reservation and that I think they're making into a Netflix something.
But I think that has another story.
Leave the World Behind was the name of this one.
And you can leave the ending behind.
I will tell you that right now.
Okay.
You said World is Ending movie.
Are any of those movies ever good, though, regardless of who you put in it?
No.
Hmm.
No, I don't know.
Independence Day was good.
I don't know which movie you were talking about with the Killers of the Flower Moon.
Yes, that's the one.
All right, there you go.
All right, so new stuff to watch.
Regardless, we're so excited that the writer's strike is over.
I think we're really needing it.
And if that's the end of the writer's strike, then it needed to end.
Yeah, and I'm happy to see normal people back on talk shows.
and not just like a plethora of like comedians and podcast hosts.
Like they had way too much airtime for the career that they have.
So I'm happy to see like actual people of note back on shows like Kelly that are now back on my Instagram feed.
Thank you.
Thank you for that.
All right.
So let's talk about things that are not so, um,
atypical, I guess.
Alec Baldwin, for instance, being escorted by the police after fighting somebody at a pro-Palestinian rally in New York City.
I'm shocked.
These are normal things.
Robert Pattinson selling his home because he's basically nesting with Sookie Waterhouse.
She's got a big fat rock.
They're expecting a baby.
He got rid of his bachelor pad.
Yes.
So like all of these things are like normal, nice, cute, fun.
That is cute.
Why did he have to sell his house though?
She's like very pregnant.
You'd think that he would have dealt with that earlier.
Well, he's listed and he sold it for $3 million, which seems like a small amount of money.
Feels cheap.
Right.
Could he not have afforded anything different after twilight?
Is that why he's mad at that series?
Cause he didn't make enough money.
No, I think it was his little bachelor crash pad and that he was like, okay, I'm not going to have any more hookups over here.
It was like a pool in a one bedroom flat.
Like there was no need for him to have this.
He must own multiple homes.
I'm sure he does.
Yeah.
So maybe he just needs the cash.
Maybe all for all those binkies and diapers.
Maybe he just needs the money.
Or maybe they're just getting a mega mansion together.
Either way.
Maybe he's not getting hired for any movies because apparently he trashes the one he was in, so nobody wants to hire him, and now he's got to sell his pad to make some money for the goddamn baby supplies.
All right, I'm reaching.
I'm just saying.
This is Tori's story, and she's sticking to it.
All right, our final, our weird news does have to do with Love Actually.
Oh, okay.
So the woman who lives on the street made famous by love actually says tourists just walk into their homes.
Could you imagine?
So the residents of that entire street in London made famous by the movie.
They said it's really, really frustrating, especially when people just brazenly walk in their homes like it's a museum.
I don't think that's OK.
It's not.
I don't know.
I guess St.
Luke's Muse in Notting Hill was once used for the most iconic scenes, and that, and Keira Knightley, and the cue cards, and basically a woman who lives in the pink house used the cue card scene for not wanting to give her name, but said she was unaware of the property's past famousness when she just walked in.
You definitely did.
When she just walked in, she just walked in the house casually without knowing where it was from?
Yeah.
Well, then you're breaking an entering.
Another woman said, I must have one of the most Instagrammable homes in London.
I get a lot of people doing guided tours to come and look at the house.
She says, I should start charging them.
I tried to make a good thing out of it by putting out a charity box for people that wanted to take a selfie.
But apparently they've just been destroying it like it's Disneyland.
Rude.
I know.
Okay, people are savage.
So I feel like that's a nice little lesson to you just because it's in a history book or a cool place.
If it's a private residence, you should probably be respectful of other people's property, like the community garden in the area or the other neighbors in the town.
We have a few of those in Salem, too.
People take pictures all the time in front of the houses that were in Hocus Pocus.
We also have that on the Cape.
I mean, to a lesser degree in Provincetown, but a lot of people are very...
inappropriate when it comes to where you want to take photos.
There's a time and a place.
But never in my entire life have I thought to walk into a stranger's home because it was in a movie.
That is what's bizarre.
Like, oh, it was in a movie, so it must not be real.
Let me just let myself in.
Is this a soundstage?
No, it's a real home.
Crazy.
It's not the Brady Bunch house.
Oh, my God.
All right.
I think that's all we got.
That's it.
So get perky with us Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Looking forward to Friday's episode.
It'll be our last for the year, right?
Last for the year.
And then a little bit of a break and then we'll come back for season five.
Insane.
Crazy.
All right.
We'll talk to everybody on Friday.
Wait, follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Bye.
Bye.
Okay, now let me see if I can find our show out.
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